Wetherby power past Old Grovians

After a two week break due to the weather, Wetherby returned to action with a mid-table clash against Old Grovians. The reverse fixture saw Wetherby capitulate on the dog poo based pitch in Bradford, and the red and whites were looking to put that right as they fielded a strong side. The notable absentee was Myles Oates, whose ego was seriously injured after it was discovered that he calls his parents Moo and Doo. Hopefully Rob Adair whipped this nonsense out of him on Saturday evening.

Grovians started the game solidly without posing a great deal of attacking threat as Wetherby looked solid in defence. After shepherding a Grovians attack into touch, Wetherby attacked off clean line-out ball. Some neat interplay between Andrew Trotman and Jack Kaye saw the latter burst free, before finding our Romanian doorman Matthew Bartle running an excellent support line to score the opening try. 5-0.

With the home side looking comfortable with ball in hand, they worked themselves into another handy position in the Grovians half. With a handy overlap on the right-hand side, Wetherby looked set to stretch their lead before the visiting full-back intercepted and ran the length of the field for a try to level the game. 5-5.

With the shock of having conceded a try, Wetherby went on the surge again. Stephen Hoather burst through tackles down the left hand side, and looked as angry as if someone had poured curry all over his car. The burst took them close to the line and forced a penalty which Wetherby tried to take quickly. When Groves’ hooker kicked the ball away he was sent for a ten minute rest and the resulting scrum allowed Rhys Thomson to dot down for the try. 10-5.

Despite the handling causing a lot of knock-ons in the muddy conditions, Wetherby played with good structure. Bryn Kitching carried well as he threw his giant, thumb-shaped frame into defenders. With Jonny Day providing good service, Harry Kaye was able to pull the strings. Despite three break ups and make-ups on Saturday morning alone defying any logic, his decision making was spot on with ball in hand as he created an opportunity down the right hand side, which was well finished by George Gilbert. 15-5.

Whilst Wetherby were rarely threatened by the Grovians attack thanks to Sam Mayhew’s endless appetite for tackling, the visitors were able to stay in the game from Wetherby mistakes. A trio of penalties from Bradley Mason culminated in a yellow card, which was the start of an extremely eventful game for Wetherby’s unpredictable bear. Fortunately Wetherby were able to survive until half-time unscathed.

Half-time: Wetherby 15-5 Old Grovians

After half-time the game started to open up considerably, which certainly favoured the home side. The introduction of cavalier Argentinian Fran Ortelli, brought a touch of flair befitting of a man who brings his green tea set in a cowhide satchel. A many run from the back row created space on the outside for Rob Adair. After floating the ball to each other down the touch line, Adair finally finished off for the Wetherby bonus point. 20-5.

The more astute of you may have noticed that Wetherby were advancing in five point intervals. This was due to Danny Wardens inability to hit bull’s backside with a banjo! Someone who could however, was the zag from zig and zag lookalike Jonny day, who cut a nice line to score another try, this time converted by Andrew Trotman. 27-5.

After some more big carries from Steve Hoather, Wetherby were able to use front foot ball to good effect as Chris Atkinson crossed the whitewash. Not bad for someone who was working nights as an astronaut on Friday night. I’m assuming that’s what he meant when he said he didn’t leave space until six anyway! 34-5.

When Grovians did get chance to attack, they generally chose the wrong option. Running full tilt at Rob Adair is generally considered the wrong option, as he proved with a colossal hit on the visiting fullback. This allowed Jack Kaye to pounce on the ball and run clear for another converted try. 41-5.

After George Gilbert and James Gibson put the gloss on the win with two more late tries, the game descended into chaos thanks to everyone’s favourite enigma. Clearly enraged by something, the furry prop gave his best Homer Simpson impression by choking an opposition player and screaming, “ADMIT WHAT YOU DID!” Fortunately for Bradley, the referee blew for full time before reaching for the red card and a dramatic game came to a close.

Full-time: Wetherby 55-5 Old Grovians.

The most complete Wetherby performance in a while, with the Red and Whites looking a dangerous force in attack. Next week sees the toughest away day of the year as the travel to Thorne.

MoM: Rob Adair and Steve Hoather - imagine a bus carrying an iceberg coming towards you. Carnage.

DoD: Bradley Mason - we never did find out what Bart Simpson actually did.