I'll warn you now, this is going to be one of those reports that makes for tough reading. Firstly because of the way Wetherby played, and secondly because I'm making most of it up. My teammates are both too illiterate to write their own report, and too imbecilic to remember most of the details of the game.

Wetherby went to the game at Old Leodiensians with dreadful preparation. When somebody drops out at 3am on game day, no matter what their excuse, they've clearly been out on the ale. Rob Adair and Myles Oates, two of the big names on campus, decided the legendary all black humility was beneath them and didn't bother to pick up the first aid kit or the bottles.

As Wetherby arrived at leo's, quite frankly the preparation for the game couldn't have been worse, but as the game kicked off it was Leo's who were slowest out of the blocks as they conceded two early penalties. Danny Warden, this week plying his 'trade' at full-back, converted to give the visitors an early lead. 0-6.

This lead was short lived however. A number of absentees from the forward pack appeared to have led to mass panic in the ranks, but there can be no excuse for some of the revolving door tackling, which allowed Leo's to break through for the first try. After several forwards tried and failed, Myles Oates decided that tackling was also on his list of duties that he wasn't going to complete and Wetherby found themselves behind. 7-6

This time it was Wetherby's turn to lose their discipline. After two weeks out of the side, the jolly green giant from the sweet corn adverts, Scotty Wallis got a little over-zealous with his tackling. This was followed by another infringement by Harry Freeman. Technically it should have been in last week's game, but his tackling is so late, it rolled into this week. Both chances were converted. 13-6.

Having built up a comfortable cushion, Leo's found chaos in the only part of Wetherby's game that looks remotely consistent. A new-look front row saw Sean Lally struggle. Unaided by his props, the front row started to cleave at will and any chance of Wetherby gaining easy possession looked dead in the water. Unfortunately when you give a team easy possession, there is often a price to pay and so it was here, as Leo's ran in another try. 20-6.

While his comrades in the pack struggled with the intensity of all the Leo's possession, George Gilbert chewed it up. The hyena of the Wetherby pack tore around the park, giggling as he snapped at the ankles of Wetherby defenders and led the pace of the attack. After the other leading forward in the pack, Tom Bottomley, was somehow dropped on his head at a line-out and was replaced, George was the only man left snapping into his work.

Unfortunately it takes more than one man, to stop an oncoming wave of opposition forwards. After three or four phases of intensity, Wetherby again found themselves tackling with fingertips as Leo's broke the line. Again the cover defence was helpless and Leo's began to make it look like a rout. 27-6.

With the line-out a shambles, and the scrum a mess, Wetherby struggled to get their hands on the ball. They looked promising with ball in hand however and Sean Lally carried well. Chris Atkinson, who is desperately trying to be cast on Take me Out, delivered the ball well and Harry Kaye showed a glimpse of his mercurial vest as he ghosted through the defence to give Wetherby hope of a comeback.

Half-time: Old Leo's 25-13 Wetherby.

Any hope of a Wetherby comeback in the second half was unfortunately put to bed. From absolutely nowhere, one of the best teams in the league absolutely capitulated on Saturday. The standard of tackling was derisible in both the forwards and the backs, and a calamitous mix-up on the wing allowed Leo's in for a bonus point. 32-13.

The tension was evident in the ranks, none more so evident than in the ever petulant Bradley Mason. Bradley's newly shaven baby face, was now entirely suited to his general demeanour. Graham Bulmer, pointed out that Bradley's witty quips were in fact nonsense, and that he wasn't Oscar Wilde and a full tantrum broke loose. Bradley stormed around demanding to be subbed off the pitch, despite us not having another front row sub, in an embarrassing paddy. As a quick reminder, this is a 26 year old, 20 stone, tight-head prop that I'm talking about!

The negative impact of this was seen almost instantly as Wetherby had almost completely switched off. The scrum now resembled somebody mashing potato and it was only a matter of time before the reds fell further behind. Another try off the back of some second rate defensive work and Leo's were in again. 39-13.

The final nail in the coffin, seemed to finally spark some life into the reds. Rhys Thompson's incredible fitness started to show in the latter stages, and finally the ball was freed to the wing. Social Media mogul, and weetabix admirer Andrew Trotman, showed a fleet footedness as he scored a superb solo try to close the gap. 39-18.

In the dying embers of the game, Wetherby showed heart that had otherwise been missing for the first hour. Good work from Sean Lally and Graham Bulmer set free Harry Kaye. Despite having a scar on his back, that looked like something Jonny Day would kiss, he broke through the pain barrier to score his second of the afternoon. One more try would get Wetherby two losing bonus points, but they ran out of time.

Full-Time: Old Leo's 39-25 Wetherby.

A humbling afternoon, that shows a reflection of where the club currently lies, lacking the professional killer edge needed to succeed in this league. Next week sees the exact same fixture in the cup, a chance to turn around the season's fortunes.

MoM: Harry Kaye - back towards his former best.
DoD: Bradley Mason - walking into the oppositions clubhouse naked is just disrespectful.