On an afternoon where Wetherby RUFC had 23 unavailabilities, including the aforementioned first three choices for captain, you might have been forgiven for anticipating a tough afternoon at Grange Park. Old Grovians arrived early and looked sharp in the warm up, although it appeared they had only brought one ball which was careless of them.

A fiery team talk however saw a focussed, fierce Wetherby team take the field and straight from the kick off they showed they were 10% sharper than their Bradford counterparts. Continuing his venture in the centres Liam Hogan showed a sign of the class to come with a deft chip and chase to run under the sticks. 7-0.

Wetherby further put the squeeze on and went close with two efforts. Giant pork pie Steve Hoather showed that he's all pastry and no filling as he dropped the ball over the line at the back of a rolling maul, after Andrew Trotman was adjudged to have clipped the touch line just before he dotted down in the corner.

With their tails up, solid defence and a clean line-out, Wetherby went in search of a second through the dangerous looking back line but were pegged back as they conceded a soft penalty. 7-3.

From the resulting kick off, Grovians kicked straight to the back three and handed possession to the brothers of destruction. Jack provided the beastly hand-off and assist, for Harry to slink away under the posts. All that work in the garden showing off to their girlfriends is clearly paying off. Who'd have thought it? The legendary lotharios, both settling down as one woman men. 14-3.

Following a penalty to stretch the margin back to 14 the game became scrappy for 20 minutes with both sides making silly errors but Wetherby lifted the class as they carved through the Grovians defences off the back of a scrum. Will Alex Dus tripping in America, Billy Cale cemented his place with a silky finish to match his fine kicking performance. 24-3

With five minutes to go before half-time, Wetherby stuck to their counter-punching style as they soaked up plenty of pressure before finally turning on the flair. Elliott Lloyd Kinsey Griffiths finished off some sharp work with a quick tap penalty to crash over the line. Half-time: 31-3.

Some fantastic work straight from half-time from chronic whinger Tom Bottomley set Jack Kaye free down the right. In a weird homage to his love for me, he wore boots with my initials on as he flew down the wing, all three strands of hair flowing in the wind. 38-3.

In one of the most confusing situations I've witnessed on a rugby field, a deliberate trip on Harry Kaye, which ended up slicing through his ankle like a hot knife through butter, resulted in a penalty to us, and a yellow card to Elliott! Draw your own conclusions!

As the game became a little scrappy, the usual habits crept in. Mattie Chappel did his usual neumatic drill impression as he drove into the ground, and Bradley Mason carried on as a real life Peter Griffin only with more scrummaging ability. With Wetherby on the verge of a big score Tom Bottomley was running out of things to moan about so brought himself off as his work was done.

Some powerful running from the completely circle faced George Gilbert opened some space for Tom Edwards to play quarter back and put Jack Kaye free for his second of the day. An assist was a welcome part of Tom's day after having spent all morning grafting on family friends. 45-3.

Despite a few falters at scrum time and a few lapses in concentration, Wetherby continued to pile on pressure. Professional lookalike for AJ's girlfriend Chris Atkinson was putting in an excellent shift. In fact the only one not pulling his weight was Myles Oates, as he got sat on his backside again TWICE! Fortunately it looks as though his girlfriend has left him to become a groupie for Newcastle Falcons, so hopefully he'll start to become the old Myles again.

As the forwards carried hard, bionic man Jim Greenwood skipped through the defence unscathed to run another under the posts and carry the score past the half-century. A fitting tribute from a man who is red and white all over. His under crackers, his towel, his tan marks, the lot. 52-3.

With bodies waning and Grovians losing what spirit they had left, Wetherby continued to exploit gaps. A good setup of solid forward running and clinical back-line play allowed Billy Cale in for his second try of the day. Dussy really will have to self-medicate when he hears this news. 59-3.

Straight from the kick-off Wetherby surged up field with a run from flanker, honorary president of Boston Spa, and general good bloke Graham Bulmer. Again the ball was shipped wide, and this time the recipient was Andrew Trotman. Reappearing Trotman returned from Vegas this week but had his nose sent back there in training this week by George, as he now resembles the elephant man, Danny Warden, or something of a similar ilk. Billy's only missed kick of the day. 64-3.

From the resulting kick-off Wetherby saw what they've been missing in recent weeks. George Gilbert carved through the defence like a gazelle making 80 metres before shipping the ball to Barney Roberts to score. Barney was later heard squealing to his dad begging for a good picture of it. Anything for a few likes. 71-3.

All-in-all a decent performance, but in honesty Wetherby didn't leave third gear. Plenty to work on in training before next weeks journey to Roundhegians, where our last trip saw us win the 10s tournament.

MoM: George Gilbert - Return of the meatball. Quality player when he keeps his head screwed on.

DoD: Elliott Lloyd Kinsey Griffiths - can't keep his bloody mouth shut apparently. Yellows must be punished, however undeserved.